She's JV to your varsity
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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