my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
