Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
