people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
