oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
