shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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