Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
