In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
