i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
