my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
