some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
