Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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