I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
