If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
