Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
