how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
