I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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