i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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