I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
