Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
