If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
