Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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