I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize