i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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