New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
