i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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