If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
