I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize