"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
