A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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