so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
