bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize