I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
