batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
