Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
