toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
