i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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