I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
