She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
