hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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