Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
