I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
