you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I will pee on everything he values.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
