I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
