I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
