He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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