Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
porn star boner night. come get it.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
