Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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