I can text with my tongue
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
