DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
