I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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