i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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