It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
