Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
