I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
