he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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