Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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