i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
