that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
